Going on reality TV to test your partner is difficult. Vanessa and Xander, cast members of The Ultimatum: Queer Love, may be more aware of this than others.

They begin the season on the Netflix series with others accusing Vanessa of being a phony and Xander wanting to protect her girlfriend despite having to appear on the show to force Vanessa to commit.

And it’s hard not to wonder if Vanessa and Xander are still together following The Ultimatum: Queer Love.

Are Xander and Vanessa still together?

Xander and Vanessa are no longer together. The couple ended their romance at the end of the program, with Xander seemingly intending to pursue fellow cast member Yoly instead.

Xander has subsequently admitted that she decided to abandon her relationship with Vanessa quite early on. She went on to say, “It was after Week 1 … before I even started my trial marriage with Yoly,” She stated that she remained with Vanessa beyond the first week “out of respect for our relationship and the four years.”

What happened to Xander and Vanessa?

In The Ultimatum: Queer Love, it was Xander who delivered the ultimatum to her lover Vanessa. While Xander desired to marry her partner of four years, Vanessa was unsure whether she was interested in marriage at all.

However, by the second episode, Xander and Yoly Rojas, who had issued an ultimatum to partner Mal Wright, had begun to develop a bond. Vanessa and Xander struggled to connect in their trial marriage, finally ending their relationship.

Throughout the show, many of the other cast members accused Vanessa of being phony, and fans wondered if Vanessa truly wanted to be with Xander. Despite developing feelings for Yoly, Xander maintained her loyalty to her partner.

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As they parted ways, Xander said, “You deserve a lot more than what I can provide you right now,” Vanessa expressed gratitude for their time together, saying, “I don’t know who I would be without those four years with you. I’ll always love you. “You are the reason I know what love is.”

Vanessa stated that she would have said yes if Xander had decided to recommit to her and put in the effort after their breakup.